


HYDRA's Curse

by Lucreace



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Lemon, Lust, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, curse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:48:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 21,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9402326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucreace/pseuds/Lucreace
Summary: Natasha is returned to base after being subjected to a HYDRA experiment. Bucky is the only one who is able to keep her safe and able to relieve some of the symptoms.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This may well be the most 'lemony' piece I have ever written. I do hope it is as enjoyable to read as it is to write!

James Barnes, former Winter Soldier and recovering assassin, stood before the director’s chair, a look of outraged astonishment on his face. The clock above the desk said it was closer to three in the morning than two and he was forced to wonder what the hell he had been brought in for at this time. The fact he had been awake anyway was beside the point! The warmth of the room did a great deal to relieve the cold that had crept into the room on this late November evening.

The director, Nick Fury, sat at his desk. The large leather chair he was in suited him, a black affair with high arms. A smaller version was located on the opposite side and that was where he now sat. Fury’s usually pristine appearance was a complete shock; there was mud to his knees and not a small amount of dried blood on his shirt either. His dark face was pale and his one good eye was sunken with fatigue. He looked like shit and that was more alarming than anything else

The third occupant in the room was laid on the table, not participating in this conversation at all. Her unconscious form was hard to imagine, the fact that she had been taken down at all was a surprise in itself. Her skin was paler than he had ever seen it before and she too was covered in mud. Even her vibrant red hair had lost its lustre. She was wrapped in a dirty tartan blanket, her face marred with pain.  
“Run that past me again?” James said, not entirely sure if he had heard Fury correctly. 

Fury pinched the bridge of his nose before turning his head back up to James, “I got a message from Mitchell Carson, saying they had her. I was to collect her and to go alone. They’d know if I didn’t. If I brought others, I’d be collecting a corpse, not an unconscious agent.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” 

“Because I wanted my agent back, not an argument about going by myself,” he said. There would have been little point in arguing if his mind was set, besides there may have been a time limit on the offer.  
“What happened?” he asked. He knew he was not going to like the details, he pressed his lips together and waited for the news.

“He was carrying her, the smug expression on his face when he said, ‘A willing woman for you,’ before ditching her at my feet. The needle was still in her neck.” Fury explained, “They’ve infected her with a chemical that had penetrated her cells, they called it austeris libidinem, means demanding lust apparently.”

“Why would they do that?”

“Oh he told me, he said that it was about time I got laid!” Fury replied. “Something about humiliation too…”

“And that is such a hardship,” Bucky replied dryly. “Why are you bringing me into this?” he asked. He had a rough idea why but he wanted to hear it from the director’s mouth before he assumed anything.  
“Because I cannot be the one she throws herself at, which is what will happen when she wakes. Carson said the first person she sees will be the one who she will fixate on until the drug wears off,” Fury explained.  
“What about the others?” He knew the frown on his face had deepened and he was being sullen about the whole thing. Natasha was one of the group and as such, his friend. They might not know one another very well but that didn’t mean he’d not help her in a bind. This particular bind was just more distressing than most. “Why can’t you or they do this?”

“I have too many places to be running this outfit to have her demands too; same as the others. Steve’s off in Taiwan, Tony’s determined to do right by Pepper, Clint’s married, Banner’s missing in action and Thor is in Asgard,” he explained.

“I can’t do this,” he said with a shake of his head. James had a lot to be thankful for since he had escaped HYDRA’s grasp. A quiet place to live and all the support he could need were just two of them. He had an inclination he was about to be told that it was time to pay them back for it. He had expected something along those lines in the future but nothing like this!

“You can and you will,” Fury replied, “Now, there are more than one reason for calling you in on this. Not only because you don’t do much but you don’t live here, you can help her hide this humiliating condition until we can either cure it or it wears off,” he explained. James ran a hand over his face and let out a sigh. He had a point after all. “And you can protect her while she is in such a vulnerable state,” he added.  
“What about my humiliation?” he muttered, aware this was petulant, weak even. Fury levelled him with a look and he dismissed the point out of hand.

“If you won’t do this, I’ll find someone else who will.”

“Like who?” he snapped

“Scott Lang,”

“Lang?” he frowned. He shook his head. There was no way Lang would be able to keep his integrity. His big mouth would be open before the weekend was over and the whole team would know. Natasha would be way too embarrassed to show her face around for weeks and it would cause a rift so large there would be no coming back from it. All because Lang was a careless gossip that wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth closed. No. he couldn’t let that happen. He shook his head. “No, not Lang.”

His mouth was dry and he let out a deep sigh. He knew already that he was the best candidate for this and although the mission was not what he would consider tasteful, he knew he would do it. He nodded, “There is no one else,” he said, aware of that truth too.

“After the first few days, the symptoms should settle. She can return to base after that, resume her training regime. I’ll make up some story about needing some recovery time after the last mission,” Fury said. James nodded, half listening and half wondering how he was going to cope with what was to come. He wondered when he had been so easily trapped into doing something like this. He looked down at his unconscious friend and let out another sigh.

Fury got up then and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze, “She’ll understand,” he said. There seemed to be a hint of pride in his voice when he spoke, “She won’t be disgusted by it, she’ll fi on you and you’ll become her base for a while. When the drug is out her system, you’ll let her go back to her normal life and things will go back to how they were,” Fury said. “Be kind to her, emotionally too, she’s going to need it during these first few days. See to her needs and this will be over soon,” he added.

That stung. James made no mention of it however, just looked to his superior and hoped that he was right. Would they be able to get back to normal after this? He had his own needs too, what about those? His memories weren’t all there yet, he had a long time to catch up on… He didn’t sleep so well, the nightmares plagued him constantly, a reminder of some of the deeds he had done when his mind was not his own! What would she think when he awoke her with his screams? He pushed it to the side, if what Fury said was true, sleep was not something he was going to worry about.

“Take her back to yours,” he said. “Hole up for the weekend. I will get in touch with you in a day to see how she is getting on.”

“That’s it? Just, take her back to yours?” he asked. Fury nodded.

“Not much more I can do,” he said. “Except wish you good luck!” He also reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. James picked it up and gave Fury a flat look.

“You can explain to her! Tell her what happened.”

“So can you, I cannot be here when she wakes, in case she fixes on the wrong person,” he said. “It’s her safety we have to think about, she will be defenceless for the first few days, we have to make sure she is protected and fixed on you,” he explained. James nodded.

“What if she doesn’t believe me?”

“She’s going to be so distressed she’ll likely believe anything you say, I’ll have files sent over though, just in case.” Fury replied. He ran a hand over his face, flicking dark hair back from his forehead and sighed. There was no way he was going to get out of this. Fury said no more, leaving him alone in the room with Natasha. He got to his feet and looked down at the lithe assassin on the table. There was a warm flush on her skin now and her face was much more peaceful. She was a fine looking woman, that much was certain and perhaps he would enjoy the next few days. He tried not to think of it in that light, this was about her needs, not his.

Gently, he reached down and scooped up her light form with ease. She was slender and easy to carry. He’d do as Fury said, take her back to his flat and keep her there for the first couple of days. What happened after that, they could think about when they got there.


	2. Chapter 2

James carried her into the flat and laid her gentle on one of his sofas. The place was not exactly the tidiest it had ever been but it was better than earlier. Cleaning was not on his priority list, he would be the first to admit that but he hated living in a tip too. He made sure there was a pillow under her head before removing the small box and placing it on top of the clock on the mantelpiece. It was something he had never, ever thought he would receive from the director to use in a ‘work’ situation. It was a box with the word Durex written over the front. Rolling his eyes, he left Natasha on the couch and went to make a coffee. He had the idea that he was going to need as much energy as he could find over the next few days.

Once he had the drink in hand, he returned to the living chair and pulled his book into his lap. Opening it, he realised it was fairly pointless, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix would have to wait, he had far more on his mind and concentration was not going to happen. All he could do was look at the fiery haired woman passed out on the couch opposite and worry about what was going to happen when she woke up.

It did not take long.

***

Natasha’s eyes flickered open, a small cry escaped her and she struggled into an upright position. “You’ll not take me!” she cried out. Immediately she realised that had been unnecessary, she was no longer in any danger.

She did not know where she was. A quick look around told her she was in a domestic house, there was a small TV in the corner, a bookshelf which was half empty on the wall and a rack of drying clothes in front of the radiator. The scent of coffee hit her and she let out a small groan. She became aware that she was wrapped up in a grotty looking blanket and underneath that, her body suit was torn.  
“You’re awake,” said a familiar voice. Her head snapped around and she saw someone very unlikely sat in the chair opposite her.

“Bucky?” she asked. He nodded. “Why am I here?”

“How are you feeling?” he asked, ignoring her question.

She placed the heel of her hand against her forehead and screwed her eyes shut for a moment, “Fuzzy, one of those would be great,” she said, indicating the coffee. He got up and fixed it for her, returning moments later with a fresh cup. She took the mug and sipped from it, finding it bitter but better than nothing at all.

“Do you remember what happened to you?” His question was valid and she watched as he settled into one of the chairs.

“I can remember infiltrating HYDRA’s base, I was about to hack into their system, plant a nasty virus when I felt a sting in the back of my neck, it all gets a bit vague after that,” she said, absently rubbing the spot where she was hit. There was a growing sense of unease in the back of her mind. She had been captured by HYDRA and yet, here she was, sitting on Bucky’s couch and wondering what the hell was going on.

“Odd, you went alone?” he asked.

She raised an eyebrow, “That’s how we work sometimes,” she replied. The blanket around her shoulders seemed to be made of the itchiest substance known to man and she scratched at her bare skin where it contacted the fabric. She looked over at Bucky on the other seat and found a rather odd want to be a bit closer to him. Why she had no idea, she got the impression that there would be some comfort there at the very least.

“You were returned to Fury about an hour ago,” he said as he placed the now empty mug on the low coffee table between them.

“They didn’t rape me did they?” she asked, aware that there was an odd tingling sensation settling in the pit of her stomach and an ache she had rarely felt before. Bucky shook his head.

“I believe that under the blanket, your clothing is a bit ripped. I was given a few of your belongings by the Director, it would be good if you changed.” He said. “Can you stand?” He added.

She was sure that if she shook her head, he would assist her but she wanted to prove she could do so by herself. Slowly, she swung her legs off the couch and tried to get to her feet. Standing alone was not going to happen! A sharp ache struck her stomach and she doubled forward. Bucky caught her arm with his metal one, stopping her from toppling. “Easy,” he said. The moment he touched her, her mind flashed. The heat intensified and she realised that her nipples had pressed against the neoprene fabric of her jump suit. She blinked, dismissing the sudden intense desire she had never once felt before for this man.  
Carefully, she straightened up. She realised she really did need the loo then and she nodded, “I’m alright,” she said, taking a step. His hand let her arm go and she felt the loss of the contact keenly. So much so that it was tempting to touch him back. She resisted and made her way to the bathroom.

Shutting the door behind her, she ditched the blanket and used the toilet. Once done, she went through the procedure of cleaning herself up. Her hands worked mechanically as she tried to get her head away from Bucky and the strength she had felt through his grip. The thudding of her heart matched the throbbing between her legs and she wondered where the hell this had come from. She’d hardly looked at the man before, let alone felt anything like this! These feelings were for compartmentalising and dismissing, not indulging! Looking into the mirror, she shook her head, red hair shifting. “Get it together,” she told herself. Her mind was stronger than her body!

There was a tap on the door, “Alright Natasha?” he asked.

With the sound of his voice the thoughts flooded back. “I’m coming out,” she said. She was fully dressed after all and there was no reason to hide in there. When she emerged, she returned to the couch. Bucky seemed unaware of her current mental state, which was a relief and so she settled quickly.

He returned to the living chair opposite and indicated fresh coffee. There was a rather large file on the edge of the table too. “I don’t know how you like coffee,” he confessed.

“Milky with sugar,” she replied. She tried to focus on the file but her eyes refused to look at it. The ache in her lower abdomen seemed to intensify when she sat still and her nerve endings were hyper sensitive to everything she touched. The feel of the couch under her fingers was like the caressing of a lover’s fingers. The fabric of her jeans was a gentle cupping of her ass and damn it did she want the man opposite. “What did they do to me?” she asked, aware that something inside was wrong.

“They injected you with a drug,” Bucky replied. “We don’t know the full extent of the effects but what we do know is in here,” he said. He pushed hair back from his forehead when he spoke in a manner she found exceptionally sexy. She took the file and skimmed through the information. The effect on her made it hard to concentrate at the moment but she got the jist of it quickly enough.

“A lust potion?” she snorted.

“They wanted you to fix on Fury,” he said. She pulled a face  
.  
“He got you to do it instead?” He nodded a confirmation, “Why?”

“I suppose he finds the idea distasteful,” he replied.

“And you?” she asked. The pulse between her thighs intensified at their subject to the point of being painful, as though that part of her body was swollen, distorted and needy. She supposed that in a way it was.

“Does it matter what I think?” he asked. His tone was firm though not unkind, “I agreed to see to your needs as long as you need me to,” he said. It wasn’t exactly a warm answer but she hardly knew the man. He didn’t really know her either and that was bound to make any situation awkward. The back of her mind admitted that this was utterly distasteful, that he was not her choice and that she should have that right at least. The rest of her screamed at her to touch him, tear his clothes from his body and to take him into her.

“Will you help me?” she whispered. Her cheeks flushed the same colour as her hair and she hung her head, not really wanting to hear his answer but needing to know.

“You only have to ask me,” he said, aware that he would keep some control over the situation as it unfolded. She bit her lower lip, caught it between her teeth and let her eyes fall closed for a moment. A sinking feeling momentarily overshadowed the pulse from her core and nodded.

“Please, please help me, make this incessant feeling stop,” she almost cried.

He shifted in the living chair then and beckoned for her to come over to him. “Come here then,” he said, his tone as soft as before. 

She wasted no time in doing so, putting herself in his most capable hands.


	3. Chapter 3

James received her into his lap and was at once his senses were assaulted. He could smell the soap she had used to clean herself up with, a hint of lemon and lime clinging to her skin. She was surprisingly light in his lap had he got the impression of hip bone before she buried her face in the crook of his neck. The skin of her cheeks was damp and he realised then exactly how distressing this was. For someone who was so used to being in control of their body, this disorder was going to seem like hell. That this was not a quick fix and was going to go on until they found some form of counter measure, it would be truly traumatic. The fact that she didn’t have a choice, that this was forced and he was the target would only add to her trauma.  


Damn.

He sat her in his lap, determined to make sure this was about her and not him; this was her ordeal and he was going to keep it that way. Her needs must take priority in this, of that he was sure! The whimpering noise she made against his neck promised so much and he was forced to shove his own rising libido to the side, this was about her, not him! Yes, it was a damned shame that it had been so long since he’d been with anyone. After getting out of HYDRA it wasn’t something he had ever considered. His head had been more scrambled than breakfast eggs and he had needed time to get that sorted, he still did. Having her dropped into his lap like this was unfortunate.

Her hand fisted into the soft T-shirt he was wearing, her eyes finding his, “Bucky please!” she almost demanded.

He tried to smile, tried to appear calm despite the hammering of his heart in his chest. “Where do you want my hands?” he asked.

There was no embarrassment or modesty in her actions, she took his right hand, the one still flesh, and placed it between her thighs. He could see the futility of her wearing trousers at that point and realised he should have found a skirt. Her hands were moving to fix that problem and before he could register what had happened, his hand was buried in the red curls at the apex of her thighs.

“Oh dear Lord – please.” She cried out at the touch she had initiated and pressed herself down on his hand. Pushing her chest up against him, she then took his other hand and placed it on her breast. She did not seem overly bothered that it would be cold either. “You have to kiss me!” she demanded. One look in her eyes told much. Her pupils were dilated as though she had taken some sort of drug and her skin was flushed. Her lips were parted and she seemed to be somewhere between agony and ecstasy.

He ignored the demand to be kissed, that was something for people who were intimate with each other when they were willing and wanted to. This was quite the opposite of that and he was determined to keep this separate from that. He pushed back against her sex with his hand. The ‘oh’ the escaped her lips turned into a strangled sort of noise. His other hand pinched at the nipple through the fabric of her top and his focus turned to that noise she made.

She leaned her head back against his shoulder, her eyes closed, allowing him to look at her without being mistaken for some perverse onlooker. He cupped her breast with his left hand while spreading her labia with his right. It allowed his long middle finger to strum her clit gently, rolling the little button around. He had barely started when the first of her screams broke the peace of the flat, not quenched but a sound of further need. 

Her thighs clamped down around his hand as she spasmed through her orgasm. Then she shifted, her green eyes catching his blue ones, “More,” she demanded. She moved to straddle his knee, the wetness of her sex soaking onto the fabric of his jeans.

“Put my hands where you need them,” he said.

The flushed faced red-head squirmed and took both his hands, moaning in a mixture of arousal and frustration. Both his hands were jammed between her thighs and she roughly pushed down against them, trying to gain some of the friction she clearly desired. Watching her face intensify, he used the fingers of his right hand to pinch at her swollen clit. She ground against his hand her arse rubbing against his leg. It might not be enough but for now, it would have to suffice. James was determined that she would have a choice in the matter, so would he! 

She chose that moment to discover how hard he actually was and her hand brushed along the outline of his cock. Damn it that felt good! His lips parted and the sparks that shot through him were divine. No! No. They were not going to go that far! He caught her hand, preventing her from doing it again and placed it on her chest, “Use your hands too,” he said. She seemed to catch on and for the moment, he was safe from penetrating her. That was something at least.

Her other hand slid into his hair fisting it at the nape of his neck as he slid his cold metal finger against her. This was slightly better, other than pressure he couldn’t feel through it. The less he knew about how wet she was the easier this would be! Not that the scent of that was enough to almost break his resolve anyway. 

The smell of her arousal was the only thing he could pick up on at that moment. He small moans were music to his east and the fact that he was the one causing them was not doing his desire any favours at all. Nor was the fabric of his underwear, the coarse material rubbed against his prick and his balls jumped. Although it would be remaining right where it was, that did not mean it was comfortable!

She groaned again and released his hair, leaning her head against his shoulder once more. Her breath came in short pants and he pressed her clit with regular firm motions, Judging by the hitch in her breath, she was about there. His other hand thumbed her nipple and she went rigid, a scream erupting from her lips. She remained like that for a long moment before crumpling against him, utterly boneless. He reclaimed his hands and wrapped his arms around her waist. Tears followed rapidly after her second climax and he was once more reminded that she had no choice or control over this. “What have they done to me?” she sniffed.

He had no answer for her. It had been no more than five minutes from their first intimate touch to her second orgasm. This was going to be one hell of a long weekend. He ran a hand through his dark hair, flicking it back from his face and let out a sigh. Fury had a lot to answer for, that much he did know!


	4. Chapter 4

Natasha pressed her wet face into his neck; she knew he could feel her hot tears on his skin. James held her back lightly with his arm, letting her have the moment she so clearly needed. He said no words of comfort to her, wasn’t sure how welcome they would be. The only solace she had for the humiliation and embarrassment was the mild lessening of the desire that was ripping through her system.

She shifted so she could look up into his face. The fine features were currently marred by a frown that looked as though it was going to cause a tension headache in the near future. If not for that then he would be rather handsome. Fine cheekbones framed a well-proportioned face, even the stubble on his cheeks was sort of cute. Bright blue eyes seemed to stare into the distance as though it had offended him and soft brown hair fell about his face. Perhaps that would be better if it was tied up but right now, she didn’t care all that much.

Reaching a hand up, she attempted to brush one of those strands out his face. She was stopped when a hand caught her wrist.

“Please don’t,” he said. She realised then that his voice was soft and she couldn’t recall a time he had ever raised it unless in a fight. 

“I was just-“

“Don’t,” he said, cutting her off effectively.

She recoiled at this rebuff and realised she was almost naked and sprawled over his lap. She snatched up her clothes and turned away, “Don’t look at me!” she said, her cheeks suddenly matching her hair. “I should be going,” she said.

He snorted and she turned around to look at him again, “What?” she asked. Bucky indicated the file on the table and she looked at it, “What is that?”

“If you read it, you would know!” he replied. She settled back on the couch and picked up the file, vaguely aware that Bucky had scooped up the cups and was making them both a refill, something that he would not be doing if she was going to leave. Picking up the file, she opened it and began to read.

When she was done, she picked up the hot mug and wrapped slender fingers around it. “So, it should abate within the first seventy two hours?” she asked. 

“They think so,” he said. She pressed her lips together and looked up at him.

“Did they not think of using a sedative?”

“It would make you numb but not halt the effects of the drug,” he replied. It seemed as though he knew more about this than was in the file and she frowned.

“Fury tell you that?” He nodded. She let out a sigh and ran her hand over her face, “What am I going to do James?” she said, knowing there was despair in her voice.

“Stay here for the first seventy two hours,” he said, his tone flat, “You know where the bathroom is and you can help yourself to anything you may need. I’ve enough food in the place to sink a ship,” he said.

She held her head in her hands and let out a deep sigh, “I wish this hadn’t happened,” she whispered softly.

“Be that as it may, we’re both stuck here until the intensity wears off and for an unknown amount of time afterwards,” he said.

“You mean after that it won’t be done?” she said. Bucky shook his head and she sighed again, “God I hate this,” she snorted, even as the first tingle of need began to fire in her crotch.

“It’s been about twenty minutes,” Bucky said. Natasha shook her head when he put it so straightforwardly and sighed. She tried to push it to the side but her thoughts were slowly being consumed by the passionate need for him.

“I don’t want this,” she whispered

“Nor do I,” he said, his voice a little sharper than it had been, “But here we are and so we must. Come over here, no point trying to fight it off,” he said. She hated him then, hated the tone in which he spoke to her, hated the drug coursing through her system. More so, she hated Fury for doing this to them and HYDRA for setting it up. She spared herself no amount of hate either, for she should have been more careful and not got caught in the first place! She began running through the different calibre of hand gun in her mind yet all she kept returning to was having his hand upon her, thrusting in to her and she knew she was done.

She reached for him. “Come on, this’ll be more comfortable in the bedroom,” Bucky said. Silently, she nodded and took his hand as she got up. The feel of his palm next to hers sent a shock through her and she knew she was lost once more.

He led her through to the bedroom, which was smaller than the living room. The bed just about fit in with a wardrobe in the corner against the wall with the door in it; the sheets were clean however and the bed neatly made. A small window would have offered light if it was daytime but the curtains were drawn against the dark instead. He flicked on the light and she felt a small thrill shoot through her on seeing his bedroom.

He climbed onto the bed, patted the space between his thighs as though urging her to join him. She did not need to be told twice. Settling between the V of his legs, she leaned back against his firm chest, “I want to feel you,” she said.

“I’ll put my hands where you need them,” he replied. She could feel the tickle of his breath on her neck and she shuddered.

“All of you,”

He shook his head then and she wondered why. Did he find her that unattractive? Without ceremony, she grabbed his right hand and placed it on her aching vulva. He seemed to get the idea as her hand undid her jeans and she wiggled out of them again. She knew she was wet already and he had no trouble sliding his hand into her slick sex. A moan escaped her lips, unlike the sounds she usually made and she wiggled against him, needing to feel him, needing release.

He switched hands then and the cold metal of his fingers sent a spark through her spine. Grabbing his other hand, she brought it to her mouth and sucked off the juice there. She heard Bucky groan before he removed his hand from her mouth, “Stop that,” he whispered.

“Why?” she managed to hiss, knowing she sounded petulant.

“I had very little choice in this either,” he siad as his other hand furiously worked her clit, “But I will retain some of it,” he added. He then slid the cold middle finger into her. She cried out at the delicious cold invasion and her thoughts were lost. His other hand returned to her hot clit and pressed down as he moved the cold finger in and out of her at a maddeningly slow pace.

“God Bucky,” she hissed. He didn’t seem to object to that and so his sped up. The warmth ignited into a fire and moments later, she was clenching around metal as an orgasm once more ripped through her being and sent her into oblivion. The back of her mind said that he was rather good at this however she had no real time to explore that thought.

She returned to herself and swallowed, her throat rather dry. He gently shifted her to the side and sat next to her for a moment, “Do you need the loo?” he asked. She shook her head. What she was then treated to was him scooting down the bed and making what looked like a very hasty retreat to the bathroom.


	5. Chapter 5

The moment the door to the bathroom was shut, James leaned against it and took a deep breath, shaken up by what had happened. Without further thought, he tore open his pants and wrapped his hand around his aching cock. Remain distant? He’d laugh at himself if he weren’t so damned-

Coherency stopped the moment he wrapped his fingers, still damp from Natasha’s essence, around his weeping prick and stroked once, twice, thrice before shuddering and spilling over his clenched hand. His breath of relief was instantly followed by a colourful sting of swear words.

He flung off his clothes and stepped into a viciously cold shower, one that brought to mind the Siberian wastelands he had only recently inhabited. Standing under the cold stream of water, he realised he had seriously misjudged the power of the situation. He had not expected to react so strongly in the face of her needs. Her body was perfect, a perfect weapon in perfect form and her longing lovely. He felt like some sort of pervert when he thought about it. She deserved his respect and protection, not his unbridled lust.

Yet here he was, standing under a punishingly cold stream of water recalling what it was like having her clench around his fingers and wishing it was his prick instead.

He picked up the shower gel and gave himself a good scrub, hoping that it would be enough to stave off the reaction within himself for a while yet. This was not about him after all, this was about her needs, not his. He let out a soft groan when his prick twitched once more at the idea. He would stay shivering in the shower for a while longer it seemed.

He leaned his head against the tiled wall of the shower, how on earth was he meant to keep this isolated when he came up against such raw passion? He had been so sure of his ability to remain distant through this that he was unprepared for it. He had never thought she would see him as an object of desire, rather he was a good pair of hands and a handy prick, not someone she would actually want! She seemed to be making this all rather personal… How could she want him in this way, they hardly knew one another!

Stepping out of the cold water, he shivered into a towel he had placed on the radiator. He dried himself of rapidly and reminded himself that this was not about him, it was about her. If Coulson had been the one to see her first, it would be him that she was asking to undress instead!

That thought did a great deal to banish the remaining desire in him.

Freshly dressed and showered, James poked his head around the bedroom door. The soft breathing was regular, letting him know she had slipped into a doze. Taking a breath, he left the room and headed off to try and make them something to eat. His stomach was growling. He was not a decent cook but toast was something he was able to manage.

By the time he had a pile of it on a plate; Natasha had awoken and popped herself in the living room, which was attached to the kitchen. “It’s not too burned,” he said as he brought the pile over to her. She picked up one of the pieces and gently nibbled on the end.

“I was wondering whether I could go out,” she mumbled after swallowing.

“I don’t think that is a good idea,” he said, “Not until the first hours are passed.” She pressed her lips together and he knew she didn’t like what she had said, “What would we do if the compulsion came upon you while we were out?” he asked.

“I hate being such and inconvenience to you,” she said with a small shake of her head.

“You may as well get used to it,” he siad, biting down on a piece of toast, “You’re going to be an inconvenience until the drug runs out of your system,” he said.

He saw the hurt in her eyes before she spoke.

“It wasn’t my idea,” she snapped, “Do you think I want to be like this with you?”

“I don’t want this either,” he retorted, stung by the apparent emphasis on the word you. She made no other sound, just rose from where she was sitting and darted off. She knocked one of the old coffee mugs from the table, smashing it onto the floor. He heard the bathroom door slam and he winced. A quick glance at the floor showed a small trail of blood leading to the bathroom.

“Fuck!” he cursed, aware that he had spoken out of turn. She had cut herself! By the time he was at the door, he could hear the water running; maybe that was what she needed, some time to think and a hot bath. He headed back to the living room to clear up the smashed cup and to finish off the toast. She would be able to clean up and would come out calmer, he would apologise too; he owed her that much after all.

The minutes ticked by and after twenty had passed according to the wall clock, he headed back to the bathroom.

“Natasha?” he asked as he tapped on the door.

“Leave me alone!” she said. He could hear the tremble in her voice and sighed. Not wanting to but having no real choice, he opened the door. There was no lock on it.

“They took the lock off in the first week when I shut myself in here and refused to come out,” he said.

“Get out!” she snapped. Her arms were folded over her breasts as though she was protecting them and he shook his head. She was sat on the toilet seat, her foot resting on the edge of the draining tub.  
“I came in here to apologise,” he said. His eyes were drawn to her still bleeding foot and he frowned, “How come you didn’t bandage it?” he asked.

“I can’t get all the shards out, I can feel it, just not get it,” she said. He reached behind her, avoiding her gaze and pulled a small first aid kit out of the cabinet. He had a set of tweezers in his hand moments later and he was pulling the shard from her foot with a steady hand.

“Might sting,” he said warning her before tugging it out. She hissed but did not cry out. The moment the shard was free. He pressed a piece of gauze to it and had it bandaged before it could bleed all over the floor. He gave her foot a pat, “I am sorry,” he said.

She nodded an acceptance though he could see from the look in her eyes that the curse, if it could be named as such, was beginning to take hold of her again. “James…” she whispered. He nodded.

Bending down, he scooped up her slender form and headed back to the bedroom. She was amazingly light in his arms and the way her hands looped over his neck was surprisingly comforting. He placed her gently down on the bed and she grinned up at him. If it wasn’t for the haze in her eyes, he could almost believe this was real.

Kneeling at the edge of the bed, he placed his hands on her calves and tugged her so her bum was level with the edge. His hands slid up her calves up to her knees before coming to rest at the tops of her thighs, pressing down in a circular motion. There was no need for words; her need voiced itself as his instinctive response and she parted her legs so that her hungry little quim was level with his eyes. He silently buried his face amongst her curls, spreading her labia with his right hand, his tongue darting out to taste her for the first time. Cat-like, she purred when his lips sealed over her trembling clit, her hands curled into his hair, tugging lightly as he lapped at her, keeping his mouth where she wanted it. It occurred to him, when she shattered around his mouth, that he had grossly misjudged his ability to remain unmoved by her unrestrained passion.

Spent, she sprawled over the bed. Without a word, he scooted her over and took the covers down. He slid in beside her, still fully clothed and tugged the covers over them both. He stretched out beside her now dozing form, his erection aching against his pants, mocking his idea to remain unmoved. Natasha curled up into his side and they both slipped into sleep almost simultaneously.


	6. Chapter 6

Natasha awoke, confused and disorientated, wondering where she was. Her surroundings were alien and had a strange wavy quality to them that she couldn’t quite place. Looking down at herself, she realised that she was naked. Why was she naked? She had no idea. There seemed to be something attached to her foot as well but she had no idea what that was about.

Reaching out of the bed, she brushed grass on the floor. She smiled and pulled up a couple of daisies, looked at them before dropping them back to the ground. Rolling over, she saw she was not alone in the field in which she found herself. Smiling down at the handsome man before her, she found his sleeping form was something to behold. Unable to stop herself, she ran a slender finger over his cheek,  
Blue eyes flickered open and he mumbled something incoherent. Her voice seemed to have failed her too so she smiled and searched his eyes. He seemed to understand what she wanted as moments later, she felt the cool of his hand against her hip. Her nipples were achingly pebbled in the cold air of the room and she wiggled towards him, the grass beneath her a comfort more than anything else. 

His mouth encompassed the entire pink nipple as his hand pushed between her slick folds. His cod thumb pushed against her needy little clit and she gasped. Twining herself around him as though she were ivy, she shamelessly clamped her thighs around his hand and rubbed against him. His thumb began making lay circles on her nub and a cool digit pushed into her, his mouth sucking on her breast as he did so.

It did not take long for her to reach the edge of ecstasy, her hands clamping on the back of his head as he suckled her breast. Her reasoning fell away as thought fled her, she fell into the languid bliss, her chest pressing against his face as his clever, knowing fingers teased her efficiently over the edge into the abyss. Her fingers tangled into his dark hair and she dragged his mouth up to hers, kissing him before once more surrendering to the grassland around her.

***

James followed her back into the depths of sleep; she had never truly awakened during the assault on his person. Vainly, he tried to rid himself of the memory of her breast in his mouth, and her soft, warm lips on his.

***

Natasha’s eyes flickered open as a small shaft of light hit her face. She met the blue ones of her fixation and she smiled.

“Hi,” she said,

“Morning,” he replied.

“Did we sleep the whole night away?” she asked.

“Six hours of it,” he said.

“I went that long without..?” she didn’t need to finish off the sentence.

He shook his head, “You woke me once in the night,” he said.

She felt her face flush and she looked away, “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be,” he said, “It’s a waste of energy and won’t get us very far.”

She looked up at him then and smiled, taken aback by this unexpected kindness. It was close to having her in tears. She took his right hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze, “Thank you,” she whispered.  
He did not speak to her, merely regarded her with those soulful blue eyes of his. They were stunning and she wondered how she had never noticed them before. The smile on her lips was not returned, not completely but the ghost of something tugged his mouth upwards; it was a start! The last thing she wanted was for this to cause a permanent rift between them. It would be great if they could remain friends once the ordeal was over, for the benefit of the team more than anything else.

She brought the hand up and pressed a light kiss to the back of his. Smelling herself on it acted as a catalyst and she was suddenly struck by a hungry need that left her breathless.

“Tasha?” he asked.

“Can you… like last night?” she asked.

“With my mouth?” She nodded and was rewarded with a large grin that crept onto his face unannounced and remained there. She had not expected that, or the way he scooted down the bed rapidly. He placed himself between her thighs and moments later, she felt his hand part her labia and his tongue against her clit. Oh! She let the bliss flood through her and made a small cry, it was great having him put his tongue to such a use, he didn’t seem to mind overly much either, bringing her off in the manner again oh! And again!

She regained her ability to think and she propped herself up on her elbows, he looked up at her, bright blue eyes shone up at her and the lower half of his face glistened with her essence.

“I’ll make us some food,” he said.

“Great, I am starving!” she said.

He smirked up at her and shrugged, “Uh, do you need the loo?”

“I can wait,” she replied.

He scooted off the bed and headed over to the bathroom. Natasha took note of the broadness of his shoulders, the narrowness of his hips and the tenting at the front of his pants. Did he actually desire her?  
He paused at the doorway and although she darted her eyes away, she knew she had been caught ogling him. She flushed but not before she caught the self-satisfied look on his face

***

Fifteen minutes later, they were sat back in the living room, fully clothed and munching on some fresh toast. Natasha looked at the file that had been left on the table and picked it up. She finished off what she had been eating before looking at James, “I’m going to actually try and read this now,” she siad.

“Sure,” he nodded. There was a large pile of dishes in the sink and the flat was something of a mess. “I’m going to clean up,” he said. She nodded, already beginning to leaf through the file. James busied himself with cleaning as she nibbled on the toast and read every word. It seemed as though SHIELD knew more than they had said to begin with.

She looked up at James for a moment before re-reading the section she had come across. If that was true… Her eyes narrowed and she snapped the file shut. She could feel the anger brewing and she got to her feet. Crossing to the kitchen counter, she slapped the paper onto the counter, her arms folded over her chest. James turned around and looked at her carefully. “What is it?” he asked.  
“Did you know?” she asked, aware that he had vastly cruel.


	7. Chapter 7

James knew what she was talking about, even before he turned around to face her. His eyes closed briefly for a moment and his heart sank. He should have foreseen this moment and not been so damned worried about choice. He wrung his hands a moment, shoved the cloth back into the water and let it sink before turning around.

“Know what?” he asked.

“It says here, third page,” she said, “The only way to give me the release I need is to have intercourse. That’s why Fury gave you that pack of condoms.” She pointed at the box on the mantel and he let out a sigh. There was no real point lying about this, she had read the truth.

“I knew,” he said, watching her closely.

She began to pace then, back and forth across the floor, which admittedly wasn’t that far. The press of her lips together was telling of her mood and the slight frown between her eyes was equally as fortuitous. She stopped and turned to look at him. “Am I really that repulsive?” she barked. “Anyone else would be glad of the opportunity for a fuck but not you!” Her pitch rose and he could see she was truly angered.< p/>

His response was far less controlled than he wanted it to be, “I am not made of fucking marble Natasha!” he snapped. His arms folded over his chest and he regarded her keenly, “I am as much flesh and blood as those men who would want ‘a fuck’ as you put it,” he repeated the phrase with such derision that her head snapped up, green eyes smouldering.

“Then it’s personal!” she said. Her face screwed up in anguish and she shook her head, “How could Fury give me to you, when you cannot even bear to do what needs to be done!”

He realised then exactly what she was getting at and he looked at her, anger fading from him. His hand unclenched and his head tilted to the side a little. The sting of shame flooded through him as he realised that she was exactly the opposite of what she was saying. She was magnificent. Even when her anger was being directed at him, she was beautiful. Sharp green eyes looked as though they wanted to pierce right through him. He was utterly lost. Stepping forward, he laid both hands on her shoulder and drew her against his chest.

She resisted for a fraction of a second before leaning against him. He could feel her tears soaking through the fabric of his T-shirt and he realised how deeply this had affected her. When his nose was buried in her red curls, he whispered close to her ear, “You are far from repulsive, any man would find you attractive, myself included. Your body is lovely, your manner enticing and I have been a fucking idiot.”

“Then why…?”

“Only my doubts have kept me in place,” he whispered softly. Her response to that was to tilt her head up and press her soft lips against his, initiating their first kiss since the beginning of this ordeal. Never had he expected her lips to be so warm and welcoming. Then she broke it and he found herself looking into her green eyes once more.

“You didn’t choose me, but if this is your wish then I will no longer deny it,” he said.

“I didn’t choose you, I don’t care!” was her response, “I need you regardless of whether you need me or not,” she said, her slender finger running over his stubbled jaw.

He startled her when he swept her up into his arms. “Don’t make assumptions about my needs,” he said, though there was no sting in his words this time. He headed to the lounge first, pausing to let her grab the pack of condoms on the mantelpiece before carrying her off to the bedroom.

“You know we don’t need these…” she said as he laid her down gently.

He nodded and tugged the T-shirt he was wearing over his head. “I didn’t know if you still wanted something between us,” he said as he placed the T-shirt into the wash basket. She shook her head but placed the packet on the bedside table anyway. It was when the packet hit the floor that he became aware of her looking at him, or rather his now bare chest. He smirked at that. “I’m up here, Natasha,” he said.

She flushed at that and he dared to laugh a little as he held her eyes. He continued to do so as he undid his belt and he saw the subtle shift in her gaze as the drug took effect.

He made his way over to her, trousers undone. Her lips pressed a kiss to his side as he crawled and a shudder passed through him which had nothing to do with the cold, his muscles quivering at the soft sensation. In one swift movement, he removed his pants and underwear and stretched out on the bed, utterly naked. While he had done so, she followed suit and lay back beside him. She was every bit as gorgeous as he had said she was. Her undulating curves were utterly divine and he longed to run a hand over them.

There was no holding back, he did just that. Her soft skin felt all the smoother for the callouses on his palm she didn’t seem to mind all that much. Nor did she mind his erection, pressing into her side.

His face descended and their lips touched, a hot, open mouthed kiss in which they vied for dominance, he swiftly one this round, his tongue invading, claiming. Natasha gasped into his mouth and he swallowed her breath, his hands now on her breasts, teasing her beyond reason. He teased her nipples with the tips of his right hand before stroking down her flank to squeeze her bum. Finally, he pressed his fingers to her drenched core and she bucked against his hand without shame.

When he finally moved between her legs, she wrapped her arms around his waist, encouraging him on. He didn’t need it. Carefully, he pressed into her, his mind screaming incoherently about it. He was aware of how wet she was, how tight she was and how she quivered around him as he neatly thrust into her. Her legs parted, urging him to enter her further. He locked his eyes on hers and he slowly began to move within her. The flare of the drug inflamed her eyes and she was spurred to move with him.

Her climax, when it came shortly after, nearly had him seeing stars too. She clenched and bucked around him so tightly that he was nearly undone too. He watched her fade from herself and although the sight was the hottest thing he had ever seen, he was forced to shut his eyes lest this end before he could sate her. Once he knew was not going to be enough. Biting into his lip, he continued the slow thrusts into her. Her nails dug into his shoulders, and he knew where they hit the flesh, there would be marks that would not fade for a long time.

After the second time, she went boneless in his arms. He wasn’t entirely sure she was completely conscious and so he left it there. She appeared to be spent and that was what mattered! He settled beside her once more, watching her return to herself again. “Stay with me a while?” she asked. He could only nod at that, he was in no fit state to move anyway and he was tired from the unbroken sleep the previous night.

Carefully, he pulled the covers over them both and she wiggled into his arms. Her hand pulled his arm, the metal one, over her and she let out a sigh. Laying on his side like this, with her warmth pressed up against him was a surprising comfort and it did not take long for him to drift into a comfortable slumber.


	8. Chapter 8

_Glamourous locations were never high on the agenda in his line of work. Tonight was no exception to that. There rarely were. The building he was currently crouched in would no longer be a building in the morning. The condemned signs had been plastered all over the walls and boards, informing members of the public that they should stay away for their safety. He had ignored these warnings, ripped a hole large enough to get through and gone in anyway. The hole he shut once again, not wanting any attention. He had then moved off to find a suitable spot to wait. At least in here it was out of the softly falling snow._

_The building was devoid of most signs of life. No carpet covered the floor, wallpaper, long since succumb to the damp infecting the building now peeled and crinkled on the wall like aged skin. The smell of damp was underpinned by stale piss, and the odd empty bottle loitered in the corners here and there. A small part of his mind registered that this had once been the home of tramps; he was probably going to be the last living soul to leave the building before it was destroyed._

_The stairs were about as stable as he was._

_Once on the third floor, he began the short set up process. The large gun he had been given for the job would not be coming back with him. It was screwed together within minutes, something he was able to do with his eyes shut – he had been made to on numerous occasions. His eyes then turned to the window. On this floor, they had not been boarded up. No one expected someone to enter the place from this height._

_Pointing the barrel of the gun out the window, the rest on the ledge, he waited. His mind utterly clear, he watched the street below for the Target. It did not take long for him to appear. He would have just finished the live show of Chaz Pik. He had not been given a reason for this, just told what to do and when to do it. The Target crossed the street. The wind died, the snow ceased to matter. A quick look down the sight was all it took. Relaxing his face, he squeezed the trigger. There was no crack only a small thud, a clutched chest and a woman screaming._

_Dropping the gun, he stood and headed back down the rickety stairs, far quicker than he had gone up. He no longer needed to worry about being silent; he needed to be out of there. The motorbike was hidden just behind the house; the vehicle was his way out. The something happened that The Winter Soldier did not anticipate._

_Stood in his path was a small, gangly looking creature. Large brown eyes looked out from a gaunt face. The clothes the boy was wearing were little more than rags, there were holes in his shoes and marks on his face. This was a problem. It became clear that this child was using the house as a hidey hole, maybe for the night, maybe it had been on a more permanent basis. It wasn’t for him to care about._

_He regarded the dark eyes, watched as they flicked from his face to the hand gun at his hip. A frown flickered. “Hey!” the kid said. “Did you see what happened out there? Did you-” Before he could think, the gun was in his hand aimed right between his eyes. There were no more words to say.  The kid’s voice turned into a high pitch scream. He squeezed the trigger. Warmth splattered over his face and he was moving before the body was on the floor._

_***_

It was the sound of screaming brought Natasha up from the depths of sleep. Beside her, thrashing around as though he were entangled, was James. Knowing that this was probably a bad idea, she placed a hand on his shoulder, “James?” he asked. There was no real response so she gave him a shake. His skin was slick with sweat, his breathing came in gasps and pants and his nostrils were flared. “James, wake up,” she said, sitting up beside him so she could see what was happening a little better. She flicked on the light.

His eyes flicked open and she rapidly withdrew her hand. There was no recognition in his eyes for a long moment and he looked at her as though he had no idea what she was doing there. His hair was plastered against his face and he looked pale, paler than usual. She didn’t say anything for the moment, just pressed her lips together and gave him the time he needed to come back to himself. She watched him run a hand over his face, pinched the bridge of his nose and wipe his eyes.

“Are you alright?” she asked, knowing that was a lame thing to say, it was obvious he was not. He sighed but gave no real answer.

“I’m going to shower,” he muttered. She watched him scoot off the bed, utterly naked and felt helpless. She heard the shower flick on and his movements in the bathroom, it had her wondering what he must look like with the water cascading down his bare form. Natasha screwed her eyes shut. How dare she think something like that when he had clearly just been through something pretty nasty? Part of her knew it was the drug running through her system and that she could no more help it that he could help the bad dreams he appeared to suffer from. It did not stop her from feeling terrible about it however.

When he returned, he was wrapped up in a red bathrobe and sat on the edge of the bed, “Sorry you had to see that Nat,” he said, shortening her name. Normally she would have protested such a thing but it sounded fine coming from him. She scooted to the end of the bed so she was sat beside him, the blanket around her for warmth more than anything else.

“It’s alright,” she said, “Was it bad?”

“I think I shot a child in the face,” he said, his voice was little more than a whisper. A hollow feeling grew in the pit of her stomach when he said that and she felt a pang of sympathy for him.

“You know that wasn’t you right?”

“I still did it,” he replied, “I didn’t have to shoot the kid, could have knocked him out instead,” he said. Her hand found its way to his and she forced down the rush of need that surged through her at the contact. She had no idea what to say, he had made a point and she wasn’t sure how to proceed.

“You didn’t know what you were doing then, had no control over it, just as I have no control over what’s going on right now,” she said. It seemed as though he was constantly being put in this position and part of her detested Fury for doing so.

“I still have to live with it,” he mumbled softly. He looked around at her then, the pain so clear in his usually bright blue eyes that it stung her to see him thus. She also knew there was very little she could do to help.

“Does anyone else know about this?” she asked. He shook his head and she wondered whether she should say something. There were people who would be able to look into this for him, maybe ease that stress a little.

“It’s alright Natasha,” he said. He gave her hand a squeeze then and a whimper escaped her lips. He frowned, “You’ve been holding out on me?” She squirmed and nodded her head. “Why?”

“It wasn’t fair on you,” she whispered, “You needed time and I… I could… well…” she trailed off without really saying what was on her mind. He leaned down and kissed her softly. His mouth was gentle, tender almost and without thought, he hand brushed his cheek.

“Thank you,” he said, breaking the kiss. She smiled and pressed her lips together, her thoughts losing coherence.

“Do you need…?” She nodded, unable to stop it any longer. He pulled her onto his lap with a sigh and she noticed that he was already hard. It did not take long, a couple of deep thrusts and she was climbing to the ecstasy of release. A couple more and she was there.

When she returned to herself, she leaned hear forehead against his shoulder and let out a sigh, “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. His response was to just kiss the side of her head.

“Neither of us can help this,” he said. He lifted her up then and drew her back up to the top of the bed, “We should try and sleep, we’re going to need the energy,” he said. She could only nod as he drew the quilt back up over them.


	9. Chapter 9

She did not awake again that night, giving him the impression that perhaps the drug was abating in her system. Sleep was not something that came back to him that night and so he lay there staring at the ceiling until the shadows began to shorten and the sun came up. The moment it was light enough, he grabbed one of the books from his side of the bed and tried to read. It was mostly a pointless endeavour, his mind was far too distracted by the woman who lay sleeping peacefully at his side.

He had been a fool to think he would be able to resist her, that his hands would have been enough. He wondered if she knew how beautiful she was. Likely that she did, why else would she be quite so talented at espionage. He didn’t know a great deal about her missions or what she had done but he had heard she was quite the seductress and it was this skill that had helped her on more than one mission. Right now, with dishevelled hair and slightly parted lips, she looked like an ordinary woman adrift in another world. She shifted and he tore his gaze away, not wanting to be caught starring at her. He was already buried in his book when her eyes opened.

“Morning,” she mumbled.

“Hello,” he replied.

“You stayed.”

“Of course I did,” he replied, where else was he going to go? The couch? At least it was warm in bed, even if sleep had evaded him. He watched as she stretched and sat up, her limbs muscular and well-toned. She then got up out the bed, presumably to use the loo. He frowned when he spotted a scar on her lower abdomen, just above her left hip.

“How did you get that?” he asked, though he had the feeling he knew already.

Nat pressed her lips together before answering him, “You shot me.”

He blinked. “I did?”

“Hold the thought,” she said before nipping off to the bathroom. He was left thinking about when he might have shot her. He seemed to remember a warm climate and a cliff. Was there something to do with a car and an Iranian… He ran a hand over his face and pushed hair back from his eyes. By the time Natasha returned, he had remembered a few more details. “You were bringing an Iranian somewhere. He was important though I have no idea why.”

“He was a nuclear engineer,” she said.

“I don’t know why I was sent after him,” he said, looking up at her finally, “But I shot your tire out and you went off a cliff.” She nodded to confirm he had it correct, “That should have been it but you dragged him out. I had to kill him so I went through you…” he said. That was all he had, there was no other attachment to the memory, it ended with them both shot.

“There’s nothing to add,” she said as she sat back down on  the bed again, she propped herself up on the pillows and looked over at where he was, “It hurt, I have a nice scar.” He gently ran his right hand over the mark and nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said wistfully.

“We both know that it wasn’t you who did it,” she said, “Not really.” He gave a rueful nod at that, not entirely convinced but not wanting to argue the point either.

“Is this the only time we met previously, before…” She opened her mouth to say something when the phone rang. He let out a sigh and scooted out of the bed, wondering who would be calling at this time and already knowing the answer. He picked up the receiver and muttered a tired, “Good Morning Sir.”

“I take it you’re alright?” came the dulcet tones of Nick Fury.

“Never better,” he replied.

“And Romanov?”

“Fine, we’re both fine,” he replied, trying to suppress a yawn. He could almost hear the director smile at that and he resisted the urge to sigh.

“You’re over half way through the initial period,” Fury said, “Is this on speaker?”

James returned to the bedroom and pressed the speaker button, “You need to hear this apparently,” he said, explaining it to her. She nodded and listened.

“The initial period is shorter than we first thought, according to the tests we ran; it should start to ease off after noon today.” James felt a little better on hearing that, however there was another emotion that ran underneath it, which he was much less sure about. “That’s the good news, the bad news is we think this is permanent,” he said.

“What?” they both said in unison.

“We haven’t yet managed to find an antidote to the drug they used, it seems as though it has altered Natasha’s cortex and has her now fixated permanently, they’re still working on it and it won’t be as strong over the coming days but it will still be there.” James exchanged a glance with Natasha and knew their faces mirrored each other. It meant there would have to be some permanent adjustments, more so than they thought there would be initially and he wasn’t so sure how he felt about that. He would have to go and live on the base for a start. The flat wasn’t all that much but it was home – more home than the base and besides, it was an escape! A place to come when everything on the base got too overwhelming; something he had found essential.

“We’re still figuring out the details so you two worry about lying low for now,” Fury said. He clicked off then, not waiting for a goodbye or an acknowledgement. James looked at Natasha again and saw the look of anguish on her face.

“How…” she whispered. He had no idea what to say to her, his own thoughts were as tumultuous as hers, of that he had no doubt.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, not sure how that would work out.

“How? I cannot live like this forever James! I know you don’t want to either!” she said. That stung a little more than he thought it should and he frowned.

“Don’t speak for me Natasha, you’re not hideous; far from it and I think we could adjust to it in time,” he said, “Unless of course, you don’t want to.” He stopped, took a breath and let it out slowly. “It’s going to take some thought.” He knew that and he wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed with it. She clearly needed something more than comforting words so he put his arm over her shoulder and gave her a sort of hug. He had never felt so awkward in his life; he was sure she was going to shove him off.

To his complete surprise, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let herself be hugged. For a moment he thought it was the drug in her system, however it was not followed up by any initiation of sexual contact. For a long while, he just held her there, close against him while he tried to figure out what they were going to do.


	10. Chapter 10

James ran his hand up her back slowly as she once more sobbed into his neck. He knew why she was crying, the drug was once more beginning to fire in her system but that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in her. Far from it, the moment he had pulled her into his arms, he had reacted to her. He rolled his eyes at himself, knowing she would find out soon enough and once more, they’d be in one another’s arms writhing around. He found that he minded less and less about that.

When she did look up, he saw the light of the drug flash in her eyes; he bent his head to kiss her, their lips meeting in what started off as an oddly tender kiss. Her lips were soft on his and he didn’t push past them straight away, nor did she. For a long moment, they seemed to just savour each other, pressing their mouths together. He found they were a good fit for one another and that he wanted to do this often, very often if he could get away with it. His heart began to thud in his chest and the moment he parted his lips, she was there. Her taste exploded into his mouth; she was everything then. His hand pushed into her hair and he held the nape of her neck as they explored one another’s mouth. Her breath tickled his cheek as she twisted her head around and the angle of the kiss changed, as did the tone. No longer exploratory in nature, they became something else, something far more consuming, more passionate than they had been before, “James,” she whispered, breaking a kiss for a moment and leaning back.

“Yes?” he asked.

“What are we doing?”

“Kissing…” he replied. She swatted his shoulder lightly.

“Not what I meant!” she replied.

“Well, what do you mean?” He searched her green eyes for some clarity, found none.

“We don’t kiss like this,” she said.

“Is that a complaint?” he said, pecking her lips once more.

“No, far from it, I like it but…”

He silenced her by kissing her again, unable to get enough of those soft lips of hers. He knew his stubble must be rough against her delicate cheek however it did not stop him. Her hand brushed against his cheek before she once more broke the kiss.

“Why the change?” she asked. It seemed as though she was not going let this go and so he leaned back.

“If we’re going to be like this for a while, longer than a few days as we first thought, we may as well enjoy it,” he said with a small shrug. There was a small smile on her face when he said that and he almost flinched when her small hand brushed against the inside of his thigh.

“Are you telling me you want me for your own sake rather than because I cannot help it?” she said. Her voice was little more than a sultry purr and she her hand crept up his thigh, discovering his erection in moments. His lips parted as her fingers pressed the distortion in his pants with a light caress. His gasp just encouraged her and she ran her fingers over his clothed length.

“Nat…” he whined.

“Yes James?”

He had no answer for her; she found his mouth as her deft little fingers worked at the buttons of his jeans. The kiss was a touch distracting but her hand even more so. She’d shoved it into his open fly and pulled his now very hard prick out into the air. She broke the kiss then and caught his eye before kissing down his neck. Before he could really think, her mouth had descended over his cock and he was floating in a sea of warmth. Her wet mouth became the sole focus of his universe and he leaned back on the bed with a soft sigh. The gentle pressure of her hand around the base of his dick, along with the sweeping of her tongue was like nothing he had ever felt before. Propping himself up on his elbows, he watched her move. Occasionally, her eyes would flash up to him, making him sigh, “God that feels good!”

Her little hand caressed his balls and he sighed again, his head rolling back, As he tried to get comfortable Natasha's hands moved to his hips. One travelled up to tease his chest, eventually finding his left nipple. Her nail traced its shape, while her other hand managed to find a home around his shaft. She opened her mouth and used her tongue to prod his right testicle into her mouth. Once it was settled against her teeth, she stroked it slowly, making sure to roll it several times and suck it back toward her throat. She heard him groan and whisper, "Nat." She smiled and released the wet orb, noted the different colour of a freshly sucked ball and one that hadn't been teased. Soon however the other sphere was being given its own tongue bath and was equal to its twin in hue.

James lay on the bed, feeling his cock jerk in Natasha’s soft hand. He pushed up into her slow, teasing stroke and muttered a low groan of approval when her fingers moved to the spongy head and she began to knead it like a lump of dough. His hand moved to cover the one that lay on his chest. He bent forward just enough to lift her hand from his body and bring it to his lips. He kissed each finger, sucking softly on the index one, before gliding it down his torso to lie against his stomach. "Nat, please," he muttered, "I don't know if I can take it. You're going awfully slow."   
  
"You like it slow, don't you?" she asked as she licked her way up one vein and down another. Something clicked in the back of his mind then, but he was too distracted to even think about it right then. In time she lifted his cock and wrapped a long lazy stroke around the base of his prick before sliding the wet muscle to the top of his shaft. "You want me to go faster?" she asked, before drawing just the head of his dick into her mouth.

"Fuck yes," he told her and then sighed when her lips rolled over the head and then another inch further down. She slipped up, then down. Over and over she maneuvered his cock into the welcoming blanket of heat. Her fingers massaged his balls and her other hand circled the base of his dick. Her goal was to work him back far enough that he would feel her throat. She angled her mouth, sucked hard and felt several drops of pre cum spill onto her tongue. Moaning in pleasure, she swallowed them and increased her strokes for more.   
  
"NATASHA!" Bucky shouted a bit louder than he realized. He felt her chuckle around his cock and then was rewarded with what he had been praying for. She increased both the rhythm and pressure. He felt as if her fingers were everywhere, moving from his balls to his shaft.  
  
She felt the surge of his blood pumping through his veins. She sucked harder, working her muscles to draw the fluids from his balls up through his cock and then splash at the back of her throat. She growled low, the hum vibrating around her husband's shaft. He jerked again, another shot of come sailed into her mouth and she drank it up with a drawn out, "Mmm."

For a long moment, he laid there looking at the ceiling, unable to think about anything. He was aware of her scooting into his arms and curling into his side, her hand idly running over his chest. “I need a moment,” he managed to whisper, his mind swirling around what had just happened. Something she had said to him during that came back to him and he frowned. He looked down at a very smug Natasha and he brushed some hair back from her face.

“What is it?” she asked.

“We’ve done this before,” he said.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When he said they had done this before, she blinked. There was a distant trouble in those blue eyes of his and she wondered at that, “What do you mean?” she asked. “Of course we’ve done this before, these last couple of days in fact,” she added. “I know you have memory issues James but that’s just taking it a bit far.” She was attempting to lighten the mood with a spot of humour but it seemed as though this time it had missed the mark.

“No Nat,” he said shaking his head, “I mean,” she watched him as he paused, trying to find the right words to describe it no doubt, “We’ve made love properly before, not in recent days but years before.”

Her eyes narrowed then and she wondered what he was getting at, “When? We’ve barely spoken before the weekend and I’m sure I would remember if we’d had sex!” she replied. He ran a hand over his face and sighed, this was clearly something that was troubling him but she had no way of knowing how to help. She could not remember ever having seen him before Steve had said who he was and no association with him other than that. And yet… when she looked into those blue eyes of his, they looked familiar somehow. Perhaps it was the drug in her system, they had spent a lot of the past few days being intimate with one another and that could create that sensation of familiarity. She shook her head, “I have no idea,” she replied.

“Maybe I’m going mad,” he said.

“It’s been a stressful few days James,” she said. She could tell he’d not shaken the thought however and she wished there was more she could do to shake it. Maybe it was something they could look into when they were allowed out of the apartment again. Reaching up, she ran a hand along his rough jawline. She was rewarded with a smile and she took his hand in hers. She turned it over and ran her index finger over the pads of his right hand, feeling the callouses and scars there as she did so. There was so much she wanted to ask him, about his experiences and what he could remember but doing so seemed more invasive than what they had just done.

He seemed content to let her do so and she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand. He shivered and she smirked. “Feel good huh?” she asked.

“Yes,” he replied.

She did it again, feeling the drug once more begin to fire through her. Instead of cursing it, or wishing it was not the case, this time, she embraced it. The heat that built between her thighs was sudden, intense and consuming.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, aware that he had asked for a moment and that she was unable to really let him have it. His cold metal hand caught her chin and turned her face to look at him. There was a fire in those eyes that she had never noticed before and a smirk about his face that spoke of untold mischief.

“I’m not,” he replied. She felt his hand on her shoulder then and he pushed her onto her back. There was something incredibly sexy about the way his fair fell about his face, the way his weight leaned over her and how he settled between her thighs. He thrust into her and the intense burning was replaced be a delicious pressure. The hiss of his breath had her wrap her thighs over his waist and squeezed.

It was all the encouragement he needed, he moved. Her arms wrapped over the expanse of his back, her nails digging in lightly as he moved with sure thrusts into her. The drug in her system demanded payment and she writhed underneath him, needing release as soon as possible. He kept pushing her ever forward with each stroke, towards the peak and fall of her release.

Natasha screamed as James' cock made one last plunge into her slick sex. The cliff fell away and her body slammed against the shores as her climax tore through her. Her eyes rolled, her back arched, and her muscles clenched his shaft. Rolling waves of heat coated her pussy. It rolled down to cover her lover's cock and as the white, hot nectar flowed thick from her sex, Natasha knew she was his. He owned her in that moment and with every crashing wave that followed she continued to ride the tide that spontaneously forced his come to shoot out of him.   
  
The second wave of Natasha's climax brought red sheets of silk and she bit her lower lip, bruising the tender flesh. "Oh my God " she cried. Her fingers curled into the blanket and she felt as if she were hitting the rocky shores of a great ocean. Her body convulsed as she came until finally her breathing held and her body stiffened. "Fuck," she yelled and stilled. When she returned to herself, she realised that it was the first time he had released inside her. The thought made her colour a little and she leaned her head against his shoulder. He had crashed against her at first before moving to the side, slipping from her wet heat as he had done so.

For the first time since they had been subjected to this, she felt sated. Perhaps that had something to do with achieving their release together. She took his hand and wrapped his arm over her waist, wanting to be held. She felt safe like this too, which was a great feeling. He remained by her side for a while longer before shifting and scooting off to the loo. Her body ached with the exertions of the past few hours and  she was sore when she too got up. Maybe a hot bath would be in order. She could get James to make them something to eat while she soaked... Then again, she wasn’t too keen on the idea of eating toast again.

Grabbing the dressing gown from the floor, she wrapped it around her body, tied it off and headed to the kitchen. She might not be the best cook in the world but she could do better than toast! Rummaging through the cupboads, she found enough random things to knock something together that might taste half decent. She was in the middle of cooking it when Bucky decided to reappear. “What’re you making?” he asked.

“Something with pasta,” she replied. He looked over her shoulder at the pan and grinned.

“Smells good.”

“I bet it does, especially for someone who lives on toast,” she said with a laugh.

“I can make other things!” he protested. He gave the food a prod with the wooden spoon and nodded, “I could make something like this,” he said.

“You could?” she asked.

“I’d likely burn bits of it but it would be edible!” he protested. She laughed again and shook her head.

“How about you grab plates?” she asked. He did as he was told and set the table. She smiled as she poured out the food, aware that this was about as domestic as she got. It tasted ok, must have done as they ate in silence. Either that or the energy they had spent over the weekend needed replacing and they were both hungry.

She left the dishes to him, heading to the bathroom for a bath. She hoped it would ease the tender parts of her body! Her thoughts turned to what he has said earlier on; that they had done this before. She still couldn’t attach a meaning to them but she didn’t want to dismiss him out of hand. When they were back at the base, she would look into it.


	12. Chapter 12

The alarm on her phone went off at the same time it did every weekday morning. Groaning, Natasha hit the snooze button and rolled onto her side. Warmth from the other side of the bed made her start for a moment until she remembered that she was not alone in the room. The room wasn’t hers either! “What is that?” groused a mound that was all but hiding under the duvet.

“That, sleeping beauty, is the sound of humanity calling. It’s time to go to work,” she said. There was a muttered grumble from the covers and she couldn’t help the grin on her face.

“What about the drug?” He rolled onto his back and scooted out of the covers so she could see his face.

“It’s been over seventy two hours and I slept through the night,” she said.

“You don’t feel it?” he asked. She was sure she could detect a hint of disappointment in his voice when he spoke.

She shook her head, “It’s still there but it’s not all consuming as it was before,” she said, “It’s different.” He grumbled again and she sat up. “I need to be there today, there are a bunch of new recruits who need a few things explaining to them,” she said.

“I need to go with you?” he asked. She thought he knew the answer to that already but she gave him a nod anyway.

“I’m going to shower, coffee and breakfast can happen there,” she said. Bucky nodded and she heard him mumbled something incoherent. It brought a soft smile to her lips before she scooted out the bed and headed off to the shower.

***

He had given her a ride on the back of his motorbike back to the base and it had been rather nice. The weather was such that it made for perfect riding conditions too. The morning sun was warm but not stifling and it lit up the city in a way she had never really appreciated before. The fact that a simple thing like riding on the back of the bike could make her smile was something in itself, smiling generally wasn’t her thing, feeling generally wasn’t either but this weekend she had done so. More so that in the previous years it would seem, the emotions had been a wide range of both negative and positive and if she was going to be honest with herself, she was looking forward to some quiet time to be able to think through everything that had happened. She was sure James felt the same.

By the time she’d had coffee and a bite to eat, she felt miles better, almost her old self again. Striding into the meeting room, she knew she looked the same. The same gasp of air and the shuffling of the recruits said they still felt the same way about her. “Good Morning,” she said.

“Glad you could join us,” Steve was at the other end of the room and she strode over to him, “How was New Mexico?”

“Vigorous,” she replied, unable to keep the twinge out of her voice. Steve raised an eyebrow but made no further comment about it.

“Good to have you back,” he said, “Going to get them doing cardio this morning, that sun will certainly be too hot for them this afternoon.”

She picked up the name list and nodded, “Will do them some good, I want to keep a couple behind for some more advance combat, I have someone here who can help with that,” she added. If James thought he was going to get away with sitting about today then he needed to think again, he may as well lend a hand if he was around! He stood at the doorway leaning against it as though he belonged there when Steve looked around. She saw his face light up and the embarrassed little smile that touched his lips, if not his eyes.

Letting Steve speak to his friend, her attention turned to the recruits, “I want Julia and Peter to stay here, the rest of you, circuits.” There was no questioning the command in her voice and the recruits headed off to the circuit. The two who she had asked to remain behind were the best fighters they had so far. Their discipline was exceptional and she had been impressed with the bouts they had displayed in the past. They had also shown level headedness and knew when to stop unlike some of the others.

“You two are going to spar together,” she said. She wanted James to see this. She beckoned him over after Steve left to deal with the other recruits. The way he sauntered over forced her to repress a smile and she gestured at the recruits, “Pop your coffee down, watch these two,” she said. He did as she asked before standing beside her.

“I’m not good at training people,” he said.

“Watch none the less,” she said. He shrugged and she gestured for the two recruits to begin their spar. They did as they were asked and she watched James almost as much as she watched them. The expression on his face was one of complete concentration, one that she found to be utterly sexy.

“Do you mind?” he asked. She shook her head and he unfolded his arms. “I’m not really dressed for this today but never mind, what’s your name?” he asked, speaking to the girl.

“Julia,” she replied.

“OK Julia, I want you to kick me in the same manner you just did to…” he waved at the lad.

“Peter,”

“Thanks, kick me as you did him.” She looked to Nat for a moment and she nodded, encouraging her to do so. Julia then threw her best kick at James’ chest. He caught the leg in a swift movement, yanked it forward sending her off balance and stepped to the side. Julia hit the floor. “As I thought, you need to recoil that leg quicker otherwise this could happen.” He held out his metal hand to help her rise, which she took and then stepped back.

“Thought you said you were no good at this,” she said. She watched him press his lips together and he shrugged.

“I had to make a point of that,” he said.

“Continue,” she said to the two recruits. They did so and once more they resumed watching their technique. Nat was forced to agree that they were clean in their movements, both of them clearly had background in these arts and that was easy to see from how they circled one another. Both of them were competent and Julia seemed to act instantly on Bucky’s advice, her leg now recoiling much faster than it had done before. Natasha offered a couple of pointers to Peter and briefed both of them, informing them that when the others returned, they were going to showcase their new skills to the rest of the group and then teach them what they had learned themselves. She then turned to James and said, “Maybe we could show them a thing or two.”

He looked down at the jeans he was currently wearing and shrugged, “Not really dressed for it, can do if you want though,” he said. She nodded, already looking forward to that particular session in a few minutes time.


	13. Chapter 13

Facing him, she knew this was going to be a lot of fun. Blood thundered in her ears and she forced to keep her breathing even. James had removed as much clothing as he could, mainly his dark hoodie so it wouldn’t get caught on things. She bounced on her feet and removed her shoes; there was no need to cause actual damage to him! He had also done the same and she waited for him to face her. She was distinctly aware of the recruits watching them. She was so focused on what they were doing that the first tingle in her blood went unnoticed.

First thing he did was charge her, she stepped to the side, intending to follow that up with a kick to his shoulder however he stopped mid charge using the motion to step around behind her and land a blow on her shoulder. She twisted and followed up with a strike to his midriff. The smirk on his face was infuriating, as though he knew what she was going to do before she did it. The blow was blocked with his metal hand; a clang reverberating around the room. Natasha brought her knee up; this time she did catch his hip, avoiding more delicate areas – they were training of course.

“You’re holding back,” he said, a blow aimed at the side of her head. She ducked down and pushed with her knee, sending him backwards a couple of steps. Now it was her turn to rush forward, intending to clamp his neck with her legs and flip him on his back. She bit her lips as she moved; he seemed to anticipate what she was doing again however and caught her thighs in both hands, bringing her down to the floor and landing her on her back. He must have seen something flash in her eyes because his expression changed then. “Nat?” he said.

“We need to find somewhere.” she whispered.

Nodding, he held out a hand and she got to her feet. Her legs were weak and shaking. She swallowed. “I’m ok,” she said. It took a lot of her willpower to make her legs support her weight. “Now it’s your turn,” she said to the recruits, “Cap, will you excuse us for a moment,” she said. She resisted taking a hold of Bucky’s hand, instead she jerked her head and knew he was following behind her.

“You’ll be back?” Steve asked.

“Give me a half hour,” she replied over her shoulder. It was not like her to cut out of a training session but she knew Steve would forgive her for it, and also fill her in on how the rest of the session went. The moment they were out the room, she knew how bad she had let it get. The flush of the drug must have been showing in her cheeks and she frowned. How could they have done this to her? It wasn’t fair and she didn’t have to take it. A flush hit her that had nothing to do with the drug, heat colouring her cheeks and making her nose tingle.

“In here,” she said. She pushed the door open and ushered James into the room.

“Nat, this is a broom cupboard,” he said.

“I don’t care.” He had shut the door behind him, “I need you. Now,” she said.

“Nat, you’re going to have to keep it down, this is a cupboard not an apartment” he said. He had a valid reason of course but at that moment, she didn’t care.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. Her hand clenched in his shirt and his eyes darkened. Before she could stop him, not that she would, her back was pressed against the wall and his tongue was inside her mouth. His taste exploded into her mind and she was lost for a moment. Then she reacted; her tongue hit his in battle, her hands rested on his shoulders and she jumped, her legs encircling his waist.

His hand thrust into her hair, gripping the nape of her neck as he crushed her mouth with his. She could fee; his heart thudding through the thin fabric of his shirt, his breath crashed against her cheek and his touch was enticing, rough almost. “James…” she whispered into his mouth between kisses, “Now.” His hand fumbled with the fly of his jeans while she shucked out of her pants. Her hand then found his prick and the noise he made threatened to give them away.

He did not speak, sealed her lips with his and shoved into her wet heat. His mouth swallowed her moan and his tongue battled with hers once more, thrusting deeply into her mouth as he pushed into her body. The feeling of fullness swamped her and she gasped, unable to move for a moment. He didn’t give her time to really adjust to his invasion; his thrusting began immediately. Crossing her legs across his waist, she braced against the wall. One of his hands slammed next to her head, his mouth caught her ear, sending shooting sparks through her spine, “James,” she hissed.

“You can’t yell my name Nat,” he said, his movements not slowing in the slightest. Her lips parted and she bit back another noise that may have given them away. She might not be able to scream but there was something she could do to prevent noise escaping; the bit his shoulder through the fabric of his shirt. It was his turn to hiss as he continued to pump into her.

She could feel every ridge of him, every stroke; feel his breath on her neck as he panted with the effort. Her legs clenched around him, moved along with him, her hands clung to his broad shoulders and she swallowed yet another cry. She felt the first build of her release in the base of her spine, a red feeling that rapidly turned to white. “I can’t…” she hissed again. His hand clamped over her mouth and he increased the pace. Her entire world narrowed to the point where they joined and her vision began to swim.

A couple more deep thrusts and she felt him pulse; she was lost and for a long moment, she quivered around him, trying not to scream out what they were doing for the base to hear. When she came back to herself, they were both panting. The smile on his face was perhaps one of the cutest she had ever seen and she weakly patted his shoulder. He withdrew and took a step back, letting her slide down the wall until she was steady on her feet once again.

After straightening out her clothing and making herself presentable again, she turned to James and pressed a light kiss to his cheek, “Next time, I am going to scream your name,” she said, knowing it was a little on the cheesy side but unable to resist the light tease. She was rewarded by a smile and she realised then that he wasn’t an ugly fellow. He was rather handsome in his own way and that this drug might not necessarily be a bad thing. If they were going to continue to have sessions like that it seemed.

She watched him run a hand through damp hair and smirk at her, “Good to know, now we need to make sure we get out of here without people thinking we’ve been in here for a quick fuck,” he said. The way he said it made her throat dry but she made no mention of that, no need to boost his ego too much!

“Wait here for about five minutes and then follow me out,” she said. With that, she exited the broom closet and quickly shoved the door shut behind her. She could not keep the self-satisfied little smirk off her face. It did not occur to her then that she was growing rather fond of him, that would come much later on.


	14. Chapter 14

James could not help the smug look on his face when he left the broom closet. He kept it on his face when he returned to the training room following Natasha by about five minutes. Picking up his jacket, he threw it over his shoulders before reaching for his still warm coffee. Taking a sip, he scanned what Steve was doing, expecting him to be with the recruits. Their eyes met and he knew then that he had given away everything that they had been doing. Damn! It was supposed to be secret! There was simply a raising of an eyebrow and that was it. There would be much more of that later. However, if he thought he was going to have a quick escape, he was made to think again.

Steve was training by the door and the clock said that it was almost one; the recruits would go to lunch and he would be trapped in the room with his best friend. Natasha had already made her excuses and was nowhere to be seen. Bucky hoped that she would be able to get by without a drug attack without him there to help her out. He smiled all over again and looked down into his coffee. That particular round in the cupboard had been hot; he could feel the marks her teeth had made on his skin under his shirt still and he knew he would have marks.

The clock on the wall struck and the recruits were dismissed. Steve made a line to his best friend and picked up his notes, “So, lunch?” he asked.

“Sure,” he replied.

They made their way through the halls and to the cafeteria. Bucky found he wasn’t overly hungry so grabbed a simple sandwich and some juice before finding a seat on one of the couches. Steve joined him a moment later and smirked, “How long have you been seeing Nat?” he asked.

“How did you know?” Bucky replied as he opened the pack of sandwiches.

“About two seconds…” Bucky gave his friend a flat look and Steve laughed.

“I remember seeing that smile on you before, you show up here for the first time in an age with her… give me some credit Buck,” he said.

He shrugged and bit into the sandwich as his friend explained his suspicions, “It’s new and it’s not exactly uh-“

“Hey fellas,” Natasha said sitting herself down in a third seat, effectively cutting their conversation short. Bucky found he was glad about that, he wasn’t comfortable with lying to his best friend but he knew the truth wasn’t something he could talk about either. Natasha has effectively saved him from that particular embarrassment. She tore into her own pack of sandwiches, “What’re you talking about?”

“You two,” Steve replied.

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded.

“Oh,” she said, her cheerful demeanour not leaving her face. She ruffled his dark hair and offered Steve a smile, “Brand new,” she said. “Would appreciate you keeping it to yourself too,” she added, stating what Bucky had struggled to say earlier on. Steve smiled at them both and nodded.

“Of course,” he said. There was nothing else to say on that matter so the conversation turned to the recruits and how they were faring, who was succeeding, who was progressing and who was slipping behind. The chat involved a lot of names he had no idea about but he listened anyway, finding it rather interesting. The regime they were going through was similar to the one they had been through for the war, however there was a lot more fighting and combat involved, as he had seen earlier.

Their conversation was once again cut short when they were approached by a young recruit, who informed them that both Natasha and Bucky were wanted in Fury’s office as soon as possible. They looked at one another before excusing themselves from Steve. He gave them both a nod and so they abandoned their lunch and headed directly to his office.

“I hope this isn’t about earlier,” Bucky said as they approached the elevator.

“He doesn’t have cameras in the broom cupboard,” Natasha said as the elevator pinged and they stepped in. “He just wants an update.”

The elevator took them to the right floor and pinged, announcing that they had arrived. They both stepped out and into the warm office. The Director was sat behind his desk, fingers steepled in front of him, eye looking at who it was. “Sit down,” he said, his voice firm. They both did exactly as they were told.

“What is this about?” Natasha asked, her voice as calm as always.

“I want an update,” Fury replied. Bucky let out a breath he had no idea he had been holding and nodded.

“I think it’s best if you speak,” he said to Natasha.

“It’s a lot better than it was sir,” she said, “It seems to have lessened after the first seventy two hours as we thought it would. I can still feel it, however the urge is a lot lighter than it was,” she said. She spoke without embarrassment, which was a relief.

“No other side effects at all?” Natasha shook her head.

“What about you?” he said turning to Bucky.

“I find I warmed to the task soon enough,” he replied. Natasha smirked at that and he shrugged. “What, I was reluctant to start with, you know that already,” he said. Fury looked from him to Natasha and back again. She nodded and he shrugged, not knowing what else to say on the matter. Being forced to have sex with her was no longer a chore, he found he was rather enjoying it, enjoying her and when the drug wore off, he was going to miss her.

“The choice I made, I made for a reason,” Fury said. He saw the flicker of a frown cross over her face when he said that and Bucky made a mental note to ask about that later on.

“Steve knows,” she said. Fury nodded.

“The man knows you both, took sooner than I thought it would but there’s no harm.” Fury said with a nod.

“He doesn’t know why,” Bucky added.

“Keep it that way.”

They both nodded at that, unable to do anything else and besides, that would be a little on the uncomfortable side, telling his best friend that he was sleeping with his other friend because she was under some sort of lust curse. No, Steve wouldn’t understand that so much.

“Was there anything else sir?” Natasha asked.

“Just one more thing,” Fury said and this time there was the trace of a smirk on his lips too.

“What was that?”

“Stay out the broom cupboards.” Bucky flushed a brilliant red at that, felt his ears burn but remained silent, “I’ll ensure there is a place for you to use should that happen again,” he added. He could see the blush on her cheeks too and they both nodded together. There was nothing else left to say so they left the office, although he thought the word fled would be a better description…


	15. Chapter 15

“I told you he knew,” Bucky said as the elevator took them back to the training floor. Natasha didn’t say anything, just smirked and shrugged in a way he found more than a touch attractive. He let the subject go, along with some of the embarrassment that came with it and looked ahead, “What’s on the cards this afternoon?” he asked.

“I’m going to do a little bit of digging,” she said, her eyebrow raising, “Something you said the other day has been niggling and I want an answer one way or another,” she said.

“That we had done it before?” he asked, recalling the events of that conversation and feeling. He smirked a little, surprised when his body stirred at the memory. He’d have thought he’d had enough of that over the past three days, apparently not.

He focused on Natasha’s words when she spoke again, saving that desire for a later time. “Yeah, I want to know if there’s more to it than that,” she said.

“How?”

“I’m going to get what I need onto here,” she said, showing him a flash drive, “And then read through it later on. You’re going to come with me,” she added. He was happy to do so, he might learn something about computers and about the past at the same time.

“We’re going to be doing something we’re not supposed to?” he asked as the elevator doors pinged open and she stepped out.

“Does that bother you?” she asked.

“No,” he said shaking his head. She led him into a small room which had four computers in it. Each was set up with a desk of its own and they headed to the one furthest from the door. He pulled up a chair and sat beside her as she pressed the button to turn the machine on. Moments later they were looking at what he assumed was a starting screen. Natasha had slipped the drive into the right port and she leaned back, waiting. “Where are we going to start?” he asked, not really having a clue.

“We’re going to break into your file and have a look around, see what they have on there that they’ve not shared,” she said. He ran a hand through his hair and wondered what they would find, “There’s going to be some footage of you, we don’t need to watch it, it’s not that nice,” she siad.

“You’ve seen it already?” he asked

“Once or twice,” she replied. He didn’t like that idea. Of course she knew his history, everyone on the base did but the fact that she might think less of him because of the things he had done suddenly mattered. She mattered and her opinion of him meant a lot more than it had a few weeks ago. “We’re not here to watch that. I’ll put it on the drive if you want to go through it later but right now, we want to get as much as we can before we get out of here,” she said.

“Thanks,” he siad, glad he could look at it in his own time if he ever wanted to. She used the mouse to locate the right files and typed some bits into the keyboard on occasion. He was lost the moment she started but he followed the movements with interest anyway. The way everything had changed since he had been under HYDRA’s control was phenomenal and he was still trying to get his head around the basic of things, like not putting metal in the microwave. A simple mistake that everyone else knew about but him it seemed. Sometimes it got to him, made him so angry and yet most of the time, he could cope. He had a good set of friends to help out and they were brilliant at doing just that.

“Hey,” Natasha nudged him and he snapped back to what she was doing.

“What?” he asked.

“Read this,” she said, indicating the screen.

He did as she asked and began scanning the words on the screen. There were a few buzz words that stuck out that had him frown. These were KGB, hired out by HYDRA and training. He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head, his mind completely blank. He looked at Natasha and shrugged. She pointed to another word he had obviously missed, her face was a little paler than it had been before as she reacted to what she too was reading. The word was Red Room.

He looked into her green eyes as his mind tried to piece together what those words might mean. “I trained others in the Red Room for the KGB,” he whispered, as though saying it would make it that little bit truer. She nodded. He swallowed, his throat dry; he had no recollection of that time of his life, of being in the Red Room or training girls there. He assumed it was girls. “It was where you were trained too,” he said.

“Yes.”

“Then…”

“It’s likely that we knew each other then,” she said.

“So why don’t you remember?” he asked. A frown crossed his face and he looked down at his hands, wondering what he had taught those girls and young women to do. He looked up when he heard her sigh and pressed his lips together.

“Do you think yours is the only memory they messed about with?” she asked. The thought had never once occurred to him and he blinked, not knowing what to say. The door to the computer room opened and they both looked up. A young agent had walked in and they knew their time for discussing this privately had come to a close. “We’ll talk about this back home,” she said.

“My home?” he asked.

“I tend to live on the base so yes, unless you want to stay here,” she said. He sensed her tone was a lot sharper than it had been before and so he fell silent, not wanting to antagonise her any more than he already had. He knew it had been a little insensitive to assume his was the only mind that had been tampered with but he had no idea she would be that sensitive about it. He felt rather bad about it too but had no idea how to say so.

The ride back to the flat was a frosty one.

She still didn’t say anything as he parked up the bike and opened the door to the flat letting them both in. He wondered whether they would speak a word the entire night; if not it was going to be a long one.


	16. Chapter 16

The door slammed shut behind her and she glared at his back. Deep down she knew it wasn’t his fault. He had no idea what was going on in his past either. Nor did she had a clue why she was being so sensitive about it. Maybe it was the fact that Fury had kept secrets from her about herself, perhaps it was that she felt he should know a lot more than he did. He’d had two years since he had fled HYDRA for crying out loud, how long did it take to recall these things?

It could be the memories would never return and that was a more frightening thought than anything else. She bit her teeth together and watched James’ back. The shape of his shoulders and how they gently narrowed to his waist was a most pleasing shape however right now, all she wanted to do was push him out the way. This in turn made her feel mean, she was usually so in control of her emotions and he didn’t deserve to be man handled just because she was annoyed.

Or maybe he did…

He reached the sofa and she have him a not too gentle shove. The only reason he stumbled over the arm and sprawled out, she was pretty sure, was because she had caught him off guard.

“What was that for?” he protested. Her eyes narrowed and he froze, stopped struggling to get up, “If this is about the memory thing back in the computer suite then I am sorry,” he said. Why was he so damned calm about it? She snorted.

“How can you be so easy going over it?” she asked, voicing her thoughts.

“It’s not exactly a new thing for me,” he replied, “I’m constantly learning things I have done without my knowledge. Just because I look like I’m taking it well doesn’t mean I am. It means a fresh load of nightmares as those memories come to the surface.” He retorted. Hah, not so calm now huh! She walked to the end of the sofa and looked at him lying there.

“Do you know what you did in the Red Room? What _they_ did to us in there?” she asked, not too sure why she was goading him.

“Trained children, taught them to become killers,” he replied.

“Taught me how to kill,” she said. “You did that.”

“Not like I had much of a choice in it,” he said. The anger really showed in his voice now, which had risen to a louder pitch than he usually used. A hot tingle built in her spine and the familiar melting sensation rushed through her once more. She was on him in seconds. Her hands pinned his shoulders down with all her weight. Her eyes widened, dark, showing very little colour. With a shove, she pressed herself against him. Refusing to let him move, she pushed her tongue into his open mouth. His response was immediate.

She used her hand to tug his head back, long hair making it easy for her. His mouth opened, allowing her deeper access into him. She felt his teeth graze roughly against her lip as she let the anger consume her completely. She bit down on his lower lip then, sucking on it as she felt his hands begin to roam over her waist. They were more irritating than anything else. She wanted his kiss, wanted him still. She wanted him! By the feel of it he wanted her too.

Not letting up for a moment, her hand deftly fiddled with his fly. He moaned into her mouth when her fingertips brushed against his erection and she hummed a response. The feel of him was familiar by now and she had no qualms about freeing his prick from the constraints of his pants and running her hand over the length.

His hands touched the hollow of her hip and she hissed. Her crotch began to burn; this was no time for gentle touches or tender strokes, she wanted him, wanted him keenly. Rising, she shucked out of her suit, loathe leaving contact him if even for a moment. She did not fail to notice that he used the distraction to rid himself of his clothing too. Normally she would take a moment to admire his naked form, however today, she just wanted him.

She didn’t want for him to say anything, she resumed her former place and resumed plundering his mouth. Her crotch ground against his hard cock, coating it with moisture. His groan was all she needed to hear, “Natasha,” he mumbled into her mouth.

“What?” she snapped. She arched her back and sank down onto him, a soft breath of air leaving her lips. His hands, one cold one warm, found her hips and he immediately began moving. She thrust with him. Not the gentle, easy movements of before, oh no, this was something far different.

Feeling every small movement he made, she matched it with her own, sliding up and down his prick. One of his hands cupped her breast and she hissed when he pinched. That wasn’t quite what she had in mind… leaning forward, she braced her weight on his shoulders again and clenched. The sharp narrowing of his eyes told her it had the right effect.

“It’s not my fault,” he hissed, punctuating his movement with his words.

“Shut up James,” she said, “Shut up and fuck me!”

His hands slid to below her bum then and he flipped them over, “What was that?” he asked as her back hit the couch. Her legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him where he was.

“I said ‘shut up and fuck me’!” she replied. Her hands grabbed the side of his face, some of his hair and brought him down for a searing kiss. It appeared he did not need to be told twice. He began to push into her sharply. She gasped as a shock of red flashed through her. Her nails found his bare back and dug in sharply as she let out a cry. “James!” she yelled.

“What?” he snapped back, mocking her earlier tone. His thrusts remained as sharp as ever, his pace speeding and becoming erratic. She began to clench around his prick, feeling every movement. It was her turn to have her eyes widen and she gasped again as he pounded into her. “It’s. Not. My Fault!” he repeated. Her legs trembled around his waist as the expression on his face changed. His eyes lost focus. Her body shook and she cried out, knowing exactly what was happening.

White chased red and she felt herself falling into the abyss once again. The ecstasy that followed blew her away and she was dimly aware that he was shouting out something too.

When she returned to herself, he was there beside her, arm around her waist keeping her close. She rolled to face him and smiled gently. A hand brushed a lock of his hair back from his face and she tucked it behind his ear, “I know it’s not your fault,” she whispered, gently kissing his damp forehead. A brief smile fluttered onto his lips and he nodded.

“It’s not yours either,” he said. She nodded, knowing they were both victims in this matter.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not angry about it,” she said.

“I noticed,” he replied. “If you want to take your anger out on me again sometime, let me know…”

She chuckled at that and swatted his bare shoulder, finally beginning to feel a little better.


End file.
